I'm BAAAAACK
I've decided I need to document my dissertation writing. I always want to talk about it, and I've got noone to talk to here.
I've moved away from the school I attend. My hubby got a job at a major university working for a research facility as their IT guy. Big bucks. So, I'm writing my disseration 5 states away from my school. And, it's lonely. ABD world isn't a place many people in suburbia understand.
Today, when I decided to blog about this, I realized I often feel guilty. I'm not teaching this summer, so I'm not working for a wage. I am working on the diss, though. And, I got a fellowship for the final year of my research, so in August, I'll be bringing in some bacon, not much, but some. Guilt, though, that's what I was talking about. I feel guilty for reading and researching and not writing. Is that weird? I wonder how other ABD's feel about that. I LOVE going to the library and looking. I LOVE reading old articles in hopes of finding something. I LOVE the hunt. Now, if you had asked me last year when I was studying for preliminary exams if I loved reading, and would have told me I would be saying this now, I would have told you you were crazy.
So, my guilt is in the reading and the hunt and not writing "enough" whatever that means. I have Ch 1 done and Ch 2 is in revision now. I have well over 50 pages of text and I have a year to finish. Why do I feel guilty? Because when anyone asks me how I'm doing, I can't say I've written much this week or that day. Do I care what they think? Yes. Why? I wonder. It's because diss progress isn't measured in the research to outsiders. It's measured in the product. And, I can't talk about it to anyone here. I'm isolated here.
That's why I've decided to document the rest of my progress/process here. At least I'll be writing.
I've moved away from the school I attend. My hubby got a job at a major university working for a research facility as their IT guy. Big bucks. So, I'm writing my disseration 5 states away from my school. And, it's lonely. ABD world isn't a place many people in suburbia understand.
Today, when I decided to blog about this, I realized I often feel guilty. I'm not teaching this summer, so I'm not working for a wage. I am working on the diss, though. And, I got a fellowship for the final year of my research, so in August, I'll be bringing in some bacon, not much, but some. Guilt, though, that's what I was talking about. I feel guilty for reading and researching and not writing. Is that weird? I wonder how other ABD's feel about that. I LOVE going to the library and looking. I LOVE reading old articles in hopes of finding something. I LOVE the hunt. Now, if you had asked me last year when I was studying for preliminary exams if I loved reading, and would have told me I would be saying this now, I would have told you you were crazy.
So, my guilt is in the reading and the hunt and not writing "enough" whatever that means. I have Ch 1 done and Ch 2 is in revision now. I have well over 50 pages of text and I have a year to finish. Why do I feel guilty? Because when anyone asks me how I'm doing, I can't say I've written much this week or that day. Do I care what they think? Yes. Why? I wonder. It's because diss progress isn't measured in the research to outsiders. It's measured in the product. And, I can't talk about it to anyone here. I'm isolated here.
That's why I've decided to document the rest of my progress/process here. At least I'll be writing.
posted by Murph at 9:43 AM
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